Now that you have seen this you are in danger of getting your head cut off by a Ninja Penguin unless you read this: http://linuxninjapenguins.blogspot.com/2009/09/ninja-penguins.html
Click for a larger view. ( As you can see in this picture Ninja Penguin Tux is celebrating his defeat of the evil robot while I the Ninja Penguin Master am still demonstrating my Ninja Penguin skills of projecting myself as a distraction for the robot while Tux finished him. )
First of all people don't think that Giant Evil Killer Robots exist. That's a myth. Giant Evil Killer Robots Do Exist! The models that have recently been sent out to kill the Ninja Penguins have Adamantium metal armour and are the size of Optimus Prime. They seldomly ever attack alone without backup. The only time a Robot has been recorded to attack a Ninja Penguin alone was back when the Evil Corporations were testing them out to see how effective they were. We discovered that the only way to defeat these killer robots was to either use the sacred Vibranium Sward of death or to hyper accelerate a Ninja Penguin past the speed of light to reality warping speeds that will go right threw Adamantium like Swiss cheese but this tends to warp the time space continuum which results in a big mess for us to clean up in the time stream. Someone called it the Large Ninja Penguin Collider or LNPC. So the best way we have found to kill the Evil Giant Killer Robots is to distract them from the front while a Ninja Penguin slips into their black box control module and destroys it along with the back up control module. Once the control modules have been destroyed the Evil Giant Killer Robots stop moving and fall over. Then we use the Vibranium Sward of death to cut the robot into smaller pieces used to create armour for some of our Ninja Penguins to wear when combating enemies that self destruct upon killing them.
So where do Evil Giant Killer Robots come from? That's a good question. When the Ninja Penguins get people to use Linux instead of other software owned by Evil Corrupt CEOs and their Corporations they tend to loose money and to avoid this they spend even more money building the Evil Giant Killer Robots. At first they tried to export production of Evil Giant Killer Robots to China but the led in the armour didn't seem very effective.
Some of these Evil Giant Killer Robots have smaller cousins designed for alley way fights.
Back in 1998 I mowed lawns all summer to earn $1,000 for my first computer. It had a dedicated video card, 333 Mhz AMD K6 3D NOW! CPU, 80 GB of HD space, Windows 98, Dial Up, 17" Komodo CRT that died just a few years ago after constant use, 512 MB of RAM, and all the bells and whistles for $1,000.00. A friend built it for me at that time. I remember the 5 and 1/4 floppy drive, CD-RW, and 3.5 inch floppy.
I would get it all set up and connect to the internet on dial up and it would always lock up, freeze, crash, or whatever you could imagine. We had to reinstall Windows 98 so many times over the first two years it was nuts. I asked my Computer Teacher what I was doing wrong. He said that this was to be expected of Windows. I asked other technicians who told me the same thing. Before using that Windows computer I had no classes for Windows just Mac. I found that it was very easy for me to understand how Windows worked and how to work on my PC but I didn't understand why it was inconsistent and why I could not fix the problem. It was not just me, no one else could fix Windows' problems either because it was closed source meaning no one had access to the source code. On the brink of 2000 it was time for the Y2k scare and everyone thought they had to buy Windows Millennium Edition even though there were fixes for 98. I got a copy anyway just because I figured anything was better than Windows 98. Turned out ME was rushed and was worse than anything besides Vista. So then people were scared to get Windows XP when it came out and I remember the problems it had with Viruses when it first was released. Then SP2 fixed some of those problems.
Viruses:
Meanwhile in 2000 - 2001 a well respected member of this community came home from Redmond and had just quit working for Microsoft for $170,000.00 a year. He didn't quit because he didn't want or need the money. He quit for other reasons we will get to later.
This x-Microsoft employee we will call Mr. X told me to try Linux. I had no idea of what Linux was so he explained to me that it was a complete replacement for Windows. At that time it was very hard for people new to Linux to use it without a background in it. So I used it from time to time but still used Windows some times.
I went to College in 2003 - 2007 and there they made it mandatory to learn how to manage a Linux Server, Fedora Core 6 to be specific. Fedora Core is and was one of the most unstable versions of Linux ever created because it runs experimental software. So it took a lot of hard work to make it do what I wanted without problems. After I learned about Linux I knew that it was superior to Windows but that it needed to be made simple for new Linux users (X Windows users) and so I began looking at Ubuntu, and PCLinuxOS, among other distributions of Linux. PCLinuxOS was a nice choice. It had everything my customers needed but lacked some hardware support. I fixed it up as best I could and remastered it for my customers. They loved it so much I decided to release it to the whole world and call it Ultumix. The PCLinuxOS community was very angry at me. I made sure to fix any mistakes that they didn't like but discovered that the real reason they were mad at me was because I was Christian. They kept sending me hate letters discouraging me from being Christian. They posted lies on the internet about me being racist and a bigot.
So I decided to dump PCLinuxOS and interestingly enough after I left their group they didn't seem to update their software to make it better. The project all but died. But then someone decided to release something else and call it PCLinuxOS.
So I decided to move over to Ubuntu and Debian. At first I didn't like the unfamiliar territory but then I learned how to make it familiar and changed everything about the way the user interfaced with it. Now I call it JULinux or Just Use Linux www.mindblowingidea.com/JULinux
So getting back to Mr. X. Mr. X worked at Microsoft almost from the very beginning developing code for DOS all the way up to Windows NT / 2000. He explained that there were two reasons he quit. 1. The first was "Operation Longhorn" or "Project Longhorn" not "Longhorn" as in the server but an unheard of project the NSA was working on with Microsoft to monitor everyone and invade everyone's privacy. It would later be called DRM, Trused Computing, and other names. Learn more at these sites: http://www.defectivebydesign.org, http://badvista.fsf.org/, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trusted_Computing, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcYxe-OS8kU.
So what does this mean for you and why should you care?
Windows Vista, Windows XP with SP3 or updates newer than SP2, and newer Microsoft software and versions of Windows:
Your internet will be slower because Microsoft and the NSA are constantly watching your computer sending information between your computer and their servers.
Everyone's internet will be slower because every computer doing this will slow the internet down.
Your music will be converted into a scrambled format that can only be played by Micro$oft's Media Molester and if Media Molester thinks that you have put your music on too many devices it will decide that you can't listen to your music.
Your computer will attempt to lock you out of your own computer and or programs if it thinks you have stolen any of your programs for any reason. This also happens if you change too much hardware.
Anyone who becomes a Microsoft Certified Partner will receive your error reports and other information like statistics about what you look at on the internet, what programs you use, your Microsoft MSN or Windows Live account, Where you shop, what kind of junk email you may be interested in, what physical mail box to send that junk mail to, and it doesn't end there.
2. It also means that Your computer is not your own and that you can not fix Windows because it says right in the Microsoft End User Agreement that you sign by clicking "I Agree" that
"LIMITATION ON AND EXCLUSION OF DAMAGES. Except for any refund the manufacturer or installer may provide, you cannot recover any other damages, including consequential, lost profits, special, indirect or incidental damages. This limitation applies to · anything related to the software, services, content (including code) on third party Internet sites, or third party programs; and · claims for breach of contract, breach of warranty, guarantee or condition, strict liability, negligence, or other tort to the extent permitted by applicable law. It also applies even if · repair, replacement or a refund for the software does not fully compensate you for any losses; or · The manufacturer or installer, or Microsoft knew or should have known about the possibility of the damages. Some states do not allow the exclusion or limitation of incidental or consequential damages, so the above limitation or exclusion may not apply to you. They also may not apply to you because your country may not allow the exclusion or limitation of incidental, consequential or other damages.
SCOPE OF LICENSE. The software is licensed, not sold. This agreement only gives you some rights to use the software. The manufacturer or installer and Microsoft reserve all other rights. Unless applicable law gives you more rights despite this limitation, you may use the software only as expressly permitted in this agreement. In doing so, you must comply with any technical limitations in the software that only allow you to use it in certain ways. For more information, see the software documentation. You may not · work around any technical limitations in the software; · reverse engineer, decompile or disassemble the software, except and only to the extent that applicable law expressly permits, despite this limitation; · use components of the software to run applications not running on the software; · make more copies of the software than specified in this agreement or allowed by applicable law, despite this limitation; · publish the software for others to copy; · rent, lease or lend the software; or · use the software for commercial software hosting services."
Translation from Evil Lawyer to Computer User: Legally Microsoft isn't responsible for their actions and there is nothing you can do to fix anything or Microsoft will sew you. ALSO YOU DON"' OWN ANY MICROSOFT SOFTWARE YOU PURCHASED! JUST THE PIECE OF PAPER THAT CAME WITH IT! Don't believe me? Read it again.
So you pay for a disk but not the data on the disk because you don't own that. You can put the garbage on your computer off the disk but you can't fix it or make changes to it to server your purposes. You do however own a piece of paper with numbers on it.
How much does Microsoft software cost? How much does it cost to fix it? How much does it cost for Anti-Virus programs and other programs? How much does Windows Live cost for the XBOX 360 (Which by the way has a dangerous amount of radiation it gives off that can cause cancer and probably will. The proof is when you try to use your cell phone anywhere around one that's plugged in. Don't believe me read this: http://www.joystiq.com/2005/10/24/xbox-360-clashes-with-wireless-devices-at-wal-mart-according/)
The second reason that Mr. X left Microsoft is because they made him work long hours on good software that actually worked but Microsoft decided the public could not have it and they patented it and put it in their big vault of patents.
Yesterday someone asked me if I would go to work for Microsoft for $170,000 a year. What would your answer be if you were me?
Now Linux can run Windows / Microsoft software, free Linux software so you don't even need Microsoft software, it doesn't get viruses, and it's free. What more could you ask? Oh ya you don't need annoying driver disks to make it work and it does not get fragmented.
Revolution OS a quick history of Linux, what it is, and where it came from.
If your a "white hat" hacker (not to be confused with actually wearing a white hat) or a computer user that also seeks to be a ninja then this is the clan for you. A “White hat” hacker is a person who tries to contribute usable stuff for the other Ninja Penguins to use. “Black Hat” hackers are the evil hackers that are also almost always pirates unless they are like double agent ninja pirate hackers and then they are both. Want to see a Ninja Penguin?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20XvsSQLN2U&feature=player_embedded
This Picture shows a Ninja Penguin defeating an evil Robot.
You need to know up front though that Penguin Ninjas (especially the one named Tux) are very opinionated as far as what kind of software they use. It has to meet the ninja penguin code or they will go ballistic and cut the computer user's head clean off with a sword! Ya man there is no messing around with these guys. And to make things worse they are faster than the speed of light because Ninja Penguins can travel over the Internet. If you have an Internet connection and your using anything other than Penguin Ninja approved software a Ninja Penguin could show up wile you are reading this and slice your head off. They can materialize like on Star Trek or come right out of your screen or even come out of your fax machine or something else. Ever picked up the phone and heard squealing noises like a Fax trying to come threw only you were not expecting a fax? It was probably a Penguin Ninja trying to materialize over diail up threw your phone but because dial up is so slow Penguins will use it as their last option. I mean if you hang up in the middle of a transfer the Penguin is trapped in on the Internet and will probably materialize at your friend's house and kill him instead.
So what kind of software do Penguin Ninjas use? Penguin ninjas decided that they would only use software that was free for anyone to improve or change and was not weak like those sissy operating systems that get viruses or can't run any programs. They thought Apple was kind of a sissy name just because I mean what does a apple do? It just sets there and it's defenseless. And besides that their computers cost a lot of money and Penguin Ninjas don't steel money. Penguin Ninjas just need fish. The other thing about Mac and Apple is Apple's get worms and what kind of ninja would be eaten by a worm? So the Ninja Penguins decided to use Linux and Open Source software. It doesn't get hacked by the “Black Hats”, and it doesn't get viruses or worms, and it runs all the coolest ninja software so that's why they use it.
The enemy of the Ninja Penguin is the Software Pirate. The Pirates go out and illegally steal software they can't afford by torrenting it off the Internet. That's why the Ninja Penguins get so upset and have to slice off their heads. So maybe if your setting at your computer and your running Microsoft or Macintosh and you have paid for everything the Penguin Ninjas just might decide not to kill you for now or maybe they are just toying with you. If you want to find out more about Linux go to http://www.mindblowingidea.com/JULinux and I suggest you do it before a Ninja Penguin kills you. They are probably tracking you right now and if you don't click this link in 5 milliseconds from when you finish reading this they will materialize and kill you.
Then after clicking the link you must join this clan or they will kill you anyway because you know too much already.
If you want to see how Ninja Penguins are able to travel so fast here is a video in extra slow motion that demonstrates them flying. Be careful though. If you watch this and see the secrets of the Penguin Ninja they might just come and kill you! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDOL7_7DB7k So why do Ninja Penguins do this? It's mainly because they want to ensure that students and working people won't have to pay $300.00 for Office software or $150.00 for anti-virus just so they can do their homework. And It's just really fun and AWESOME! Now if after all of this you haven't clicked here: http://digg.com/linux_unix/Ninja_Penguins_2 and dugg that link Ninja Penguins will just keep annoying you until you do and believe me they can be very annoying.
--- a little more info about Ninja Penguins ---
Ninja Penguins travel at the speed of light^1,999.2 before they start warping existence so that's their top speed. Because they can travel to other realities and covert themselves into digital data they are able to study on a server on the ninjanet in a computer simulation similar to the Matrix. The problem was that there was no computer fast enough to challenge the Ninja Penguins and they could not move fast while inside the server on the ninjanet. Even 1,000,000 super computers could not keep up with the speed Ninja Penguins move at so we had to figure out how to build a computer capable of this great speed. We decided to replicate several Penguin Ninjas but without brains and shrink them down to the size of atoms and build the computer's NPU out of that. (Ninja Processing Unit) Now we are able to train in a virtual world against virtual opponents that can fight back at the speed of light^1,999.2. Now the ninjanet is in another reality and it's compatible with most computer but you need a special modem that has the ability to send data back and forth between realities and a web browser that can go to http://nn.the website you want to go to.com. The only way you are going to get one of these modems and the web browser you need is by becoming a Penguin Ninja and then you have to pass the test.
Now Ninja Penguins don't even need to swing a sword at someone to kill them since they are faster than the speed of light. They can simply run or fly right threw you like a lazer. All of their atoms turn in to photons when they match the speed of light and after that they become a different element that can't be placed on the periodic table because this substance moves too fast to be studied.
Einstein figured out a way to slow it down so we could study it but that would require so much power the sun would burn out.
